If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
