It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
