The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
