i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
