He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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