Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
