Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
