Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
