i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
