I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
