i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
