They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i think im in europe. pls send help
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
