He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
