So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
