Don't make out with my wife yet
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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