I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
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