3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
