See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
