Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
