I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
There's even glitter on my cock...
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