she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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