I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
