I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
