strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
