Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
