I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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