This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
