google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Even the bartender felt bad for me
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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