come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
