Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
