What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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