I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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