If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
