Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
