I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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