I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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