dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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