Dude my mom stole all your condoms
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
