lets start a swedish sibling band together
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
