I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Oh god it's open bar.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
