my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
