These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
