If that was your dad, he is hot
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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