I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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