she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
