Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
