Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
