think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
