Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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