It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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