your parents love me but you hate me
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
