I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
