Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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