why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
