I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
